


Law of Surprise

by GlowingMechanicalHeart



Series: Flash Fiction Friday [2]
Category: The Witcher (TV)
Genre: Crack Treated Seriously, Gen, Humor, Reluctant Hero Yennefer, The Law of Surprise (The Witcher)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-06
Updated: 2020-11-06
Packaged: 2021-03-08 22:47:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 629
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27424468
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GlowingMechanicalHeart/pseuds/GlowingMechanicalHeart
Summary: It comes to her as she is sleeping.Yennefer bolts upright, “All I need is invoking the law of surprise! Someone out there has to need my help and that would be my payment, I’ll have a child surprise soon enough, someone out there must need help and be pregnant without them knowing!”
Relationships: Geralt z Rivii & Jaskier | Dandelion & Yennefer z Vengerbergu, Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia & Yennefer z Vengerbergu | Yennefer of Vengerberg
Series: Flash Fiction Friday [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2003569
Comments: 6
Kudos: 27





	Law of Surprise

**Author's Note:**

> Written for Flash Fiction Friday, prompt "All I Need".

I t comes to her as she is sleeping.

Yennefer bolts upright, “All I need is invoking the law of surprise! Someone out there has to need my help and that would be my payment, I’ll have a child surprise  soon enough, someone out there must need help and be pregnant without them knowing! ”

She goes back to sleep, feeling quite at ease. Yennefer dreams of her holding a child, the one that the law of surprise gives her, it is the most peaceful dreams she’s ever had.

It starts with saving a farmer, she invokes the law of surprise as payment. Turns out, a big surprise is that the farmer’s wife got a dog. Yennefer walks away with an adorable puppy, it’s not a baby, but it’s adorable and promises to follow her always, a win in her book.

The next time it she saves someone, it’s because there’s a monster loose. Yennefer is not a witcher, but she’s a damned good mage and she defeats it easily enough. Her payment in the form of the law of surprise is a large dog. She shrugs it and takes it, at least her puppy won’t be lonely that way.

It continues on and on, until Yennefer has built a reputation of a mage who is helping others, she gets praise and thanks wherever she goes and someone asks for her name. Thus far, she’s collected twelve dogs, not babies yet, but she’s optimistic, the baby will come eventually. It’ll happen and the dogs are fantastic companionship, so she can’t really complain.

Even if people think she’s doing it from the goodness of her heart, Yennefer correct them when they say so in her face, “No, I want a baby. That’s why I’m invoking the law of surprise. I’m not nice,” she scowls and sneers for further effect. They don’t believe her, or at least they pretend to be offended, because who would believe that she’s being selfish when she’s been hailed a hero all over the Continent?

It all changes when she meets Geralt and Jaskier. Jaskier has – of course – heard of her, praises her heroism and promises to write her a song. Yennefer slaps him down the back of his head. “No.” She scowls. “No songs for me. I want a baby.”

“Oh!” Jaskier’s whole face brightens. “You know, Geralt has one!”

Yennefer freezes, slowly turns to the Geralt. “Whatever do you mean, bard?” She does not take her eyes of Geralt. Fury is slowly coming up.

Jaskier, who is unable to read the room, says, “He invoked the law of surprise, once, and now he’s getting a Princess.”

Yennefer does her best not to curse them both, but she’s vibrating with anger. Geralt only had to invoke the law of surprise once? Well, isn’t that nice. “I’ll trade you. Two dogs for the girl.” She grits out. Yes, she doesn’t like the idea of parting with her dogs, but it’s a Princess.

“No,” Geralt says. “I’m not even sure what I’ll make with a girl. I don’t want her.”

Yennefer sees red. “Fine.  S ix dogs for the girl.”

“Yennefer, no. The child should remain with her mother and grandmother, I’m not taking her.”

“But Geralt! Puppies!” 

“And how come you landed on a child?” Through gritted teeth she all but spits out.

“Well, Geralt saved someone and he invoked the law of surprise and then, bam, Princess Pavetta vomits in front of everyone. And thus, child of surprise.”

Yennefer turns to Geralt. “All my dogs for the girl.”

“No, Yennefer.”

Fury rises again, and she sees red. That damned bastard, only one time and he gets a child? Unfair. She starts to remove her earrings. “Bard, hold my jewels.” And then she leaps at Geralt.


End file.
